Interview by Zoë Brigley
I felt this poem had to work rhythmically, like the steps in a military march.
GROWING UP IN A GARRISON TOWN
I never notice the bursts of gunfire
on the other side of the river the shops selling military outfits
the university library’s 19th century cannons
stored between each reading room
the stables converted into lecture theatres how their classical architecture contrasts with the cavalry of students long-haired and smoking
who will become men by reading books
that the campus was formerly a barracks
how it dominates the town
I start imagining echoes of nearby battles betrayals abdications excess of testosterone
ghosts of boys wearing golden-buttoned uniforms lycéens dressed à la hussard les bottes bien hautes their redingotes perfectly tailored Empire style
boys stripped of their spirit with bullying and beatings boys who were told to admire the manly Romans
boys ready to give five years of their lives
for the patrie even if their fathers froze to death crossing the Berezina river because of Napoléon’s frenzy for sacrificing
hundreds of thousands of Frenchmen the celebration of his bicentenary
compromised by the pandemic not his deeds how these boys’ grandsons are being remembered today
with kids singing in choir and crowns of cornflowers
the colour of their capotes their names fading on war memorials
This is a very striking poem that mingles a seemingly personal story – ‘Growing Up’ – with thinking about wider gendered and toxic cultures. How did the poem come about?
This poem emerged as I was studying in my hometown’s university library: I realised that being surrounded by cannons and hearing gunfire as part of military exercises every day may not be the norm! My hometown – Bayonne – is located near the Spanish border, so it has been a strategic spot throughout history. Napoléon forced the king of Spain to abdicate there in 1808, and in 1814 Bayonne surrendered to the Duke of Wellington upon Napoléon’s abdication. I wrote the poem last year, during the bicentenary of Napoléon’s death, and although many commemorations were cancelled due to the pandemic, there were debates about whether or not his achievements should be celebrated, hence the reference in the poem.
‘Growing up’ is part of a series of poems which interrogates toxic masculinity, and how the army was (and still is to some extent) seen as a way to “make a man”. My father describes his military service as a complete waste of eighteen months of his life. I started writing the poem around Armistice Day, when government officials lay wreaths of flowers at the foot of war memorials, and I was thinking that all the men in my family who fought during WWI and who died were mutilated or suffered from PTSD would probably prefer it if we stopped promoting the cult of the military rather than being bought some flowers.
Tell us about the epigraph
The epigraph is from 19th French politician Léon Gambetta. At the time, the military service could last up to seven years: my grandmother’s grandfather married in his forties because he was mobilised. In recent years, many French politicians have suggested reintroducing the military service, and I’m not in favour of it. France is still a militaristic nation, and I’m very critical of the myths surrounding the army, such as the idea that it is promotes equality, or that it turns someone into a man.
I mention in the poem the contrast between the education boys used to receive (“bullying and beatings”) with that of the modern male “students / long-haired and smoking / who will become men / by reading books”. Literature is often seen as an effeminate activity or mere school subject for men, whereas the military education men received not so long ago promoted an “excess of testosterone”.
I really enjoyed the form with the gaps in the text, which seemed like pauses or gaps, as the narrator slowly pieces together the story of the town, its violent history, and how that has been processed through men over the years. How did the form come to you?
Actually, I really struggled to find the right form! I initially wrote the poem without the gaps, but when I workshopped it with my poetry stanza, the other poets didn’t think it was working. I felt this poem had to work rhythmically, like the steps in a military march. I hope the gaps within the lines convey this effect. I also wanted ‘Growing Up’ to be musical, so I used a few alliterations with harsh sounds, like “k”. For whatever reason, some rhymes automatically came with the French words (“bottes”/”hautes”/ “redingotes”/”capotes”).
As you said, the poem follows several generations of boys and men from the Napoleonic Wars to today. The fragmented form of the poem also echoes their fragmented selves, and how both their traumatic experiences of war and the conditioning they received had an impact on their vision of masculinity.